This post is part of the “Cold Nights, Hot Reads” blog hop. You can find more details about the hop at this link: http://patriciagreenbooks.com/cold-nights-hot-reads-blog-hop/
Please read down to the bottom to see how you can enter to win a variety of prizes.
Do you remember the book and movie, Love Story? It was hugely popular in the late 1960s early 1970s. The most famous line from it is “Love means you never have to say you’re sorry.”
Like many people then and still, I beg to differ. Love means you had better be willing to say you’re sorry. Often. Whenever it’s appropriate. Because we’re all human beings and we all make mistakes and hurt others. And since the people we love are the closest to us, they’re the ones we hurt the most.
This is most relevant to me in my writing because I write romances that often involve BDSM relationships and very dominant men.
Ultra-dominant men are somewhat fashionable these days, as long as they’re handsome, rich and sexy, a trend represented by Christian Grey and his many, many imitators. I love me some handsome, sexy, rich male too, but not Christian and his ilk. Why not? Simply put, he’s an asshole.
My idea of a sexy, dominant male is one who is secure enough that he doesn’t have to manipulate a woman into his arms. Nor does he have to buy and own her. He takes on the dominant role because it suits both him and his partner. His partner wants it that way. She doesn’t have to be blackmailed or stalked or bought to want into the relationship.
And he’s willing to say he’s sorry when he’s wrong and find out what he can do to make it better.
It’s a fine line. I get that. But most people can tell the difference between someone who’s subbing because it’s what they want or need and someone doing it because the partner they love/respect/fear demands it of them.
BDSM is at its heart an exchange of power, but that’s only really satisfying when all participants have equal agency, so that can each freely consent to it. It does get tricky. I admit that, and I plan a few more posts exploring the complexity of it.
It isn’t always obvious on the surface where the lines are, but if I can’t see the equality that lies beneath, then the story doesn’t work for me.
This post is sponsored by the Naughty Hearts anthology: The second of The Naughty Literati’s boxed sets of stories and is filled with fabulous romantic love stories.
Best of all – the ebook is JUST 99 cents!
I’m giving away a paperback copy of one of my lists along with a couple of other surprises. I’ll email the winner a list of available choices for the book. To enter, just a leave a comment on this post and be sure to include your email address so I can contact you if you’re the winner.
Enter below for other prizes available in the blog hop.
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